It's not so bad after all...

Now that I'm on...I can't seem to get off.
Facebook is more addictive than I thought it would have been. But, the good thing about it is that the people that you haven't talked to in ages (familiy included) is right there at your fingertips.
I've even managed to send Dave from high school a "hello". We were never romantically involved as I saw him more like a brother but it's great to see that he's happy, still rockin' and enjoying life.
Added Gene as a friend as well. Damn, I remember having a crush on Gene in high school even though he was younger than I was. Good to see that he's still playing.

Got in touch with a few cousins and a couple of my nieces as well.

I guess all this facebook stuff really keeps you in touch with people even when you don't have time to pee. I literally don't since I'm stuck behind a computer all day which in hindsight isn't at all a bad thing now. :)

Well, back to facebook....oops! Err, I mean purchase orders. ;)

Trin

Finally free...

It's Friday and I'm feeling really good.
I had a little chat with my sister yesterday and it seemed to bring me out of my funk.

She helped surface everything I was suppressing.
I deserve to be loved and Dany had his chance long ago. He lost something very special that he'll never have again and even though our relationship and friendship at the time was something I'll always treasure, we have both evolved into different people. In reality, I don't know who he is anymore. It just didn't pan out and I'm ok with it now. I accept it.

I do thank him for helping me 'wake up' long ago. That I shouldn't be shy and afraid of what people think of me. I've changed and I suppose he has as well.
Come to think of it, looking at the pics Cheryl has posted, I have a strange feeling that she and I could become good friends ...well, in different circumstances of course. She looks like a very down to earth, friendly, party girl but don't get me wrong....I'd never do anything now to contact either of them. I'm happy that he's happy. There's nothing more important really.

Whew! I've finally flown away and it feel liberating...almost surreal. I can't believe it took this long but I can honestly say that I'm finally free. Know how I can tell? I can now look at his picture and smile.

Trin

Creed...

Don't Stop Dancing

At times life is wicked and I just can’t see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn’t enough to make some wrongs seem right
Whatever life brings
I’ve been through everything
And now I’m on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Children don’t stop dancing
Believe you can fly
Away…away

At times life’s unfair and you know it’s plain to see
Hey God I know I’m just a dot in this world Have you forgot about me?
Whatever life brings
I’ve been through everything
And now I’m on my knees again
But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Am I hiding in the shadows?
Forget the pain and forget the sorrows

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Children don’t stop dancing
Believe you can fly
Away…away

Am I hiding in the shadows?
Are we hiding in the shadows?

Fucking Facebook!

I checked my e-mails this morning and noticed that my friend Lily had left me a message on my Facebook page. I think I decided to open a Facebook page for the hell of it since everyone was talking about it about a month ago and haven't been on it since until this morning.

After leaving Lily a short message I decided to add some pics of myself and my girls then I noticed the "search" on the top left hand corner. I didn't think much of it but since it was the month of July I thought....what the hell...so I typed in his name.

Up popped his profile.

15yrs later, I find him on the web. I remember trying to find him, a picture of him, a blog...something, anything to give me a smile but all I found was his phone number and I never dared calling it. Well, I swear it was only that one time but got his answering machine. At least I got to hear his voice, I thought.

Today is one of mixed emotions. I'm happy but also very sad. If you don't know who Dany is (was) read last years July 20th entry under "In Mourning"... http://trinityshome.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_archive.html

He's married to a girl named Cheryl who is a year older than me and has two little girls from what I can gather. I saw pictures from his 40th birthday party that has just past and he still looks the same. Maybe a little less hair but as goofy as ever, I would imagine.
I miss him.

I guess I just have to remind myself that he's not the same person I once loved 15 yrs ago. We've both changed, I guess. Well, everything except for my feelings for him.

Trin

I wish I was Delila....

Hey there Delilah
Whats it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square cant shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
dont you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
I'm by your side

Ohhh, its what you do to me
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
some day i'll pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
if every simple song I wrote to you
would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me (x2)
A thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way.
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because
we know that none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
you be good and dontcha miss me
2 more years and youll be done with school
and I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah heres to you
this ones for you

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
What you do to me
Oh oh oh oh etc

DL Sarnia and the Demons Inside...

Let me start off by saying that even though I'm a bit tired and sunburned, driving for 3 hours and then waiting in line for 10hrs at the GA show, (even though we had VIP tickets) was well worth it.
Tami, Trisha, Kathy, Eric, Danica and I were one of the first in line to see Def Leppard on Saturday night and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. We also saw Lisa and Lana (the twins) and Izzy and her daughter Julie there. Julie and Danica hit it off instantly and stood together, danced and caught guitar pics while watching the show. We stood at the end of the "thrust" in awe, getting some great memorable pictures and a few smiles from the guys. Definately a night to remember but not the same without Janeen there and of course Gordon's name popped up a few times in conversation. Would have been great to have him there with us as well.

The crowd was more responsive than I thought they would have been. We really enjoyed the show from that perspective and the sound was much better than standing first row near the stage. I could tell that Joe's voice wearing thin and even though it started off a bit 'off', he pushed it to the limit for us and gave us his all. By the end of the show we were all wondering where the time went. All that waiting, all the anticipation...is all just a memory now. Sad, but happy and proud to see them again.

The strangest thing was, that looking back at it now, I never though of Peter once during that time. Quite sad really. While Danica was sleeping on the drive home, I listened to 1973 on my Ipod and wondered what James was doing, wondered if Juliana was a good girl while staying with her Aunt, thought about how just two nights before was the first "July 20th" that I've ever been happy (happy birthday Dany) but never once did I think about Pete.

When I finally came home I noticed him sleeping on the couch. My sister Stella brought Juliana back home and the kids were playing noisily for at least a couple of hours before he woke up. There was no big hug, no questions about the show, no kiss, no smile, no interest what so ever....nothing. I guess he was too depressed about not having his engine ready yet. I tried to comfort him but it seemed like the more I tried, the more he pushed me away. He's not the type of person who feels better with a pep talk. He becomes ...not so much jealous but angry that I had such a good time and he didn't. Typical selfish Peter. He was quiet all night so I didn't share my joy with him but with Danica and smiled while reminiscing and at the pic she caught from Viv.

Today, I try to smile.
The demons have escaped once again.

Trin

Thrust, Def Leppard review...

I've have recently just attended Def Leppard's "Thrust" tour show last Monday and I have to say, it just may have been the best DL concert I have ever attended.



The seats could have been better as Danica and I were sitting 10 row from the stage but way over to Viv's side. The "thrust" was useless to us as we couldn't see anyone performing on it due to of our lack of height. But, 1/2 way into the performance we decided to join our boardie friends who took the liberty of standing in front of the stage even before DL came out. I originally thought they were going to be shooed back to their seats by security but luckily weren't so Trisha was kind enough to let Danica stand in front of her so that she was directly under Viv when he played.

Although, Joe's voice did seem strained during those occasional high vocals, he was graciously backed up by the band and nobody seemed to mind except for the critics. Musically, they were undeniably infallible. Brilliant.

The boardies all met at the Marina Grille before the show. Janeen (Mama) and hubby Steve, Kathy (Z'smom), Trisha (Rambo), Tami (Civic), Karie (New75) and her friend Doreen and who could forget Louisa (Weasel).
Gordon also made his introduction by asking if he had found where the Celine Dion convention was taking place. Cheeky bugger. ;) We all had a great time asking him questions and saying goodbye even after the concert had ended. I really wished he could meet us at the Sarnia show this Saturday. A real genuine guy....and definately more handsome and gracious than I would have imagined him to be on-line.

Kathy and hubby Eric, Trisha and Tami are going to be meeting Danica and I on Saturday in line. I just hope we get there early enough to be one of the first ones in.

Trin

Ditching Reality

Admiration from afar
A wink, a smile
Chatting it up about the grandeur of life
Busily roaming from city to city, bar to bar

Longing for that same freedom
Embracing those same thoughts
He breathes life into me
Unlike any other

I have my head in the clouds
I don’t mind the fog
The light here is bright
Ditching reality. Look at me now.

Then the other half stirs me from my happy fantasy
He makes me realize the truth it seems
How plain I am
How insane I am
Too unimportant and mundane I am

What is it that he’s looking for?
Why is he so insecure?
How dare he turn my faults into flesh
Too difficult any more to pretend

I have my head in the clouds
I don’t mind the fog
The light here is bright
Ditching reality. Look at me now.

Trin