Talking to myself...

I'm bored. When I'm bored I get into trouble. I'm reminiscing which makes me sad. Two things that will pretty much ruin my day.

Thinking of what I don't have, what I want, what I should of had, what I deserve, what's virtually impossible for me, what could have been, what I haven't got to look forward to, what I could have done better, what I could have changed,.... yada yada yada....all make me feel shitty about my life and my future.

The romantic idea about meeting a soulmate makes me sad. I used to be an avid believer. I used to have these fairytale fantasies about who my soulmate was ...is... whatever. Now the notion makes me ill to my stomach because if this were indeed true, I'd be with him at this very moment. But I'm not and such is life.

My depression has been tamed with great drugs but those little pills are no match with what's going on in my head today.

Trin