Disaster

Father's day was a disaster.
Pete didn't spend it with his father. Was selfish and wanted to go to the track. Last minute, I decided to go with the kids. Met Mary there. Vince's sister. 27 years old and getting quite a liking to Pete....or at least that's what it looks like.
Pete treated me like shit. I don't know ....it just felt as if he didn't want me there. Like I was a burden. Like I shouldn't have gone. Like he wasn't expecting me to go.

We had arguments about trust, fidelity and honesty. He thinks I'm being unfaithful or lying. I'm not sure whether or not he's just trying to put ideas in my head about Mary just to get me back. To make me feel jealous for once. He wants to give me a taste of my own medicine. We left the track and I went to dads while he went home driving Bernie, Mary and her brother Vince back home. To my surprise, when I came home I found Vince and Mary at our kitchen table. They apparently had dinner together.

I cried myself to sleep last night. After talking ...arguing...talking until midnight I suggested we go to sleep and was just going to let the whole thing go. I chalked it up to stress of the day with his car. I asked for a hug and he said he was coming to bed too.
When I got in bed I lay beside him expecting him to give me a hug but he didn't. I turned around in tears. He apologised telling me he thought I was holding him. He tried to stop me from crying by holding me tight. It was the first time I've seen him sensitive enough to hold me while I cried in his arms. He fell asleep and I got up, had a smoke while the rush of crazy ideas trampled through my head.
He looked sincerely sorry this morning. I'm still sad.