Ain't getting any better...

I'm at a loss.
Last month all we did was argue. This month seems like a repeat of last month and things aren't getting any better. Well, our bedroom door can't get any worse since he has already put two holes in it. I'm not surprised with his outbursts of anger anymore.
He's just lucky it was the door and not my face. Or should I say, I'M the one who's lucky....? Just another constant reminder of his tantrums.

I'm getting bitter about the fact that he can do whatever he wants but as soon as I do the same thing, he gets into this power struggle with me. He doesn't make time for me anymore because he's excited about taking the car to the track and I'm feeling neglected. I told him so last night.
Am I just getting him back? I suppose I am. Sometimes I think giving him a little of his own medicine is the only way he'll actually "get it".

I've decided not to go to Pinks All Out with him this weekend. After the talk we had about the last time I came with the kids, I've decided that from this day onward I'll never be going with him again. EVER. Of course, I didn't tell him that directly. I get this burning feeling that he doesn't want me there, even though he tells me he does (without the kids of course because they are supposedly the reason why I don't give him the attention he wants when they're with me). Ahh...the infamous EGO!
Well, I go for different reasons. I go to spend time with him. A day out with the family. I go because we do absolutely nothing else together. I'm making an effort! He apparently goes with one thing on his mind. Making his car run faster. Hence, the rudeness and lack of smiles when I am there.

Now, I'm thinking....why should I put in the effort if he doesn't? This relationship isn't a one way street! I expect him to at least take an interest in doing something with me.
It's like he has blinders on. His path is one dimensional right now and I'm feeling cheated.

You know....I think this "lack of attention" is the main reason why people cheat on each other.

Trin