Pete just doesn't get it.

Well, I brought Juliana in today. She's still on her antibiotics....again. This time it's the 5 day, one a day kind so there's no forgetting to give it to her. I blame myself for her still being sick. I missed her medication a few times during the 3x a day last week so it may have not fully got rid of the infection. She was crying when I left her so that made me feel like a terrible mother. I'm not there for her. She's sick and I should be taking care of her instead of dumping her with someone else. I drove away crying. I do hope they call Peter to pick her up this afternoon but I'm afraid that he'd just take her to the shop with him. I'm still in shock that he didn't taker her with him yesterday.

I don't think Pete gets it. We had an arguement last night about my irritablity and mood. I know he tries to understand me but ...alas, he doesn't. I guess there's just not much more I could ask from him. He says I put the stress on myself. I take on too much and then crash and burn. I keep telling him that if he would take on some of the crap that needs to be done at home that I wouldn't have all this pressure on me.
He got so frustrated that he almost kicked May out the door when she needed to go potty. I got so pissed that I refused to speak to him anymore.

Today I had the crazy notion that if I could just get away...you know, book a vacation that all would be fine but there are problems associated with that. First of all, Pete would never let me go alone and secondly it would be too expensive for all of us to go so, once again...I'm fucked.

I'm still feeling like crap but exercising does help to give me a lift so I'm looking forward to my lunch time workout. I also e-mailed WarrenSheppell, our company's counsellors yesterday. Maybe they can help a lost cause...huh? Can you imagine if they ever read this journal? They'd think I was mad.

Trin