Being a bitch

I'm such a bitch.

I don't know why I've been such a bitch toward Pete lately. It's not that time of the month. It's not because it's Friday the 13th. The only thing I could think of why I've been so disgruntled lately would be because I'm taking on much more than I can handle and I expect him to pick up the slack.

I know I should expect things like that from him. He can't read my mind and I've learned from previous mishaps that if I ever needed his help to just ask him. But....where do I draw that line? Let me give you an example....

I woke up late this morning due to the fact that I forgot to set my alarm last night. I guess I was so tired that I just plopped down after the kids went to bed and just plain forgot. Pete woke me up at 7am telling me I was late and I'm shocked that I didn't have my usual panic attack but did what I needed to do to get the fuck outta there so I wouldn't be terribly late. He got up as well and went about his regular routine but totally disregarded anything that had to do with me. Instead of helping me get my ass outta there faster, he could have helped me get Juliana ready for day care...shit, he could have offered to drive her himself so that I wouldn't have been late but he didn't. He runs his own shop so nobody's going to question his tardiness.

Needless to say, I got to work 30 minutes late which is rare but after taking 2 days off this week it didn't look good. Vicky was covering for me but it was my boss who had told her to which meant that someone had to have called her up to say that I wasn't here yet. So, I'm fully expecting a not so nice talk soon.

To top off the cake with icing, he calls me at work to see if I got into any shit.....like he's concerned. It took all my energy not to get pissed off at him. Instead I kept calm, explained that I'll probably get "the talk" and left it at that.

I'm just saying that it would have been nice for Pete to pick up the pieces once in a while. I'd do that for him! I'd help in any way possible to see that he doesn't get flustered and angry because his anger impinges on everyone around him and the last thing I want is him to angry with something and take it out on the kids.

Am I asking for too much or am I just being a total bitch and should cut him some slack because it was my fault being late in the first place?

Like I said, I'm probably taking on too much and have been feeling like the whole world is resting on my shoulders. I'm frustrated and tired because of the lack of sleep these past few nights so I guess it would be fair to say that my anger is stemming from those problems.

I have to learn how to relax. I was thinking about getting my hair done tomorrow but Pete will be working and I'll have the kids. There's no way I'm bringing them with me to the salon. Saturday night I'll have to go to my dad's for his birthday then over to Angel and Nicky on Sunday for their birthday party.....eek, that reminds me that I have to run out to buy the cake for dad, each of them their presents, have them wrapped, buy cards, pick out what my kids are going to wear, what I'm going to wear, make sure they have a bath before we go, make sure I plan out what I'll be eating for each day......(deep breath) ..............See what I'm saying now?