I will survive!

I am woman! I have survived the Valentine's day pigfest with my dignity intact.

The only thing I was a bit disappointed with was Pete. I honestly thought he would have at least given me a card on V-day. I know we weren't supposed to buy anything for each other since we went to the CN Tower but ....a card with a few of his thoughts would have been nice. I got one for him and had the girls draw hearts and signed their names in it. I put it on the kitchen counter that morning so that he'd have good thoughts for the rest of the day. When I mentioned that it sorta, kinda bothered me that he didn't even get me a card yesterday ...he flipped. He became all defensive and shit. I wonder why I bother opening up my mouth sometimes. Anyway, after a bit of thought, he apologized. I just want him to be a bit more sensitive to what I'm feeling and maybe next time, he just might become a bit more thoughtful.

I feel great today. My legs seemed to be toning up and my waist it a bit trimmer. You know when you've lost weight when you wake up feeling smaller. I haven't started the Take off yet. The take off basically flushes out your system by only eating protiens and veggies and some kind of fruit nectar. I'm planning to save it for Monday and Tuesday since I'm expected at both showers over the weekend. Let the pigfest begin! LOL
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to let these parties ruin anything I've worked so hard to achieve. Nobody better bother asking me why I'm not eating. I could answer back with a rude answer and say "I was saving it for you errr...not that you'd need it." I think I'll be polite and just explain that I don't eat garbage that clogs arteries and leaves you feeling like a stump. See? I could be nice if I wanted to be.

I was supposed to have a session with the therapist today. I cancelled the appointment two days ago because I didn't like the idiot and know that he wouldn't be able to help me more than my dog Nico could.
I do realize what he was trying to tell me last Thursday though. He mentioned something about your own thoughts being your worst enemy. I finally realized that sometimes I get trapped with a single pointless, destructive, sad thought that pulls me under and just dismissing that thought as unreal and meaningless helps me. In retropect, our thoughts determine the way we feel. So, in order to feel good, we have to stop thinking those particular nasty thoughts and dismiss them. I have to practice ignoring them. I have to start keeping myself in the present....the here and now instead of brooding in the past.

Gee wiz....any of you need a psychiatrist? I'm fairly cheap. Just provide me with a cappuccino and I'll be on my way!