The carb monster and I wishes....

I have been feverishly trying to control my cravings these past two days. It's Aunt Flow's time to visit this month and it's been taking all my energy not to eat anything and everything that isn't bolted down. Even though women suffer from PMS...you know, the irritability, cramps, water retention and such....I don't remember having this intense feelings of hunger before. I'm really hoping my lunch hour exercise session will help cause this is rediculous!

Pete has been worried about the whole situation with seeing this doctor. I finally got it out of him last night. He actually thinks that seeing this doctor will make me realize what a loser he is and dump him. Sheesh. Is this the way men actually think? I told him I was going so that he could help me and possibly give me some ways to help our marriage. He asked "Well, what if it doesn't work? Are you planning on calling it quits?"

I had to take a deep breath before reassuring him that that would never happen (as much as I sometimes think it will). Again I told him "People don't see therapists to make their relationships worse...they want to make it better and the only way I would ever leave is if you were not willing to make things any better between us." This morning I found a little love note in my lunch bag that made my heart go pitter patter. I've always said it's the little things that matter.

Sometimes, I think I should have been a therapist. Umm...now there's a thought. Do therapists have their own therapists or can they make an assesment of themselves? lol

Anyway, it seems as though the medication is starting to work. I no longer feel the need to drop myself in a big hole and cover myself up to the neck. I looked at my calendar last night and noticed that the next 3 weekends are going to be busy. Lenny's birthday party on Saturday (my nephew), the next weekend will be Valentine's day weekend and I've planned a CN Tower tour with lunch for the whole family (that should be fun) and the following weekend after that, I'm bombarded with a baby shower on the Saturday and a Bridal shower on the Sunday. Uggh,....all I see are money signs floating out of my purse. Anyone have a net?

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I feel like making a whole bunch of "I wishes". You know, that's when you make a whole list of things you wish you had or had become or want.
Here's a short list ...I'll probably end up adding on as the day goes on.

1. I wish I could go to hollywood and become a famous actor. (I could have been Ava Gardner in my previous life)
2. I wish I had a more interesting job and made more money. (My job is as interesting as being a sausage poker)
3. I wish I had more time to take a self defense class or martial arts class. (Then I could fully kick some ass)
4. I wish I had a bucket under my desk. (Comes in handy when bladder is full)
5. I wish I could fly a plane or helicopter. (I'd love to touch the sky)
6. I wish I had a better singing voice. (I could have been the next Canadian Idol)
7. I wish I didn't have to work so hard at losing weight. (Having a high metabolism and going diarrhea every hour does have it's advantages....right Pete?)
8. I wish I were taller. (Then I wouldn't need to lose weight)
9. I wish I had a Tim Horton's coffee. (Double double with milk and sweetener please?)
10. I wish I had never thought of this list to begin with.

Err...it's not too much to ask. Is it?

Trin