Wondering...

I didn't have to think twice about hitting that "confirm" button on Saturday when making the reservations to my hotel and flight to London.
I'm really excited about going. Really excited.

Which bring me to question why I'm so down. Excited but feeling sad as well.

I have to confess.
I've been looking at Dany's pictures on facebook this morning. I'm feeling a bit jealous of his wife, his family, his children. The pictures his wife posted were happy ones of course and I can't help but to think how different my life would have been if he had chosen me instead of her.
Our children would have been beautiful (not that my children with Peter aren't).
To be honest, he has changed physically. He's no longer the cute, baby-faced Dany I remember but he's now a man who's facial features are a bit on the tired side and eyes that no longer sparkle like I once remembered. So....why is it that I find myself longing just to hold him? Why is it that I'm jealous of his wife when I can honestly say that even though she's not totally unfortunate looking, I'm a bit prettier than she is.

I just wonder, what he saw in her that he didn't see in me.

Trin